


Meaning

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-15
Updated: 2003-10-15
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:23:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian ponders the meaning of life and comes to some conclusions.





	Meaning

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Have you ever just sat around and pondered the meaning of life? I have… a lot lately. It all started after Stockwell lost the election and I only had my Sunshine left. I bet everyone thought that I was just crumble and Justin would leave me because I couldn’t afford the finer things in life anymore. It was actually just the opposite. I have never been happier. I am not totally broke so I haven’t really entertained the thought of looking for a job yet. That is partially because I don’t know if I want to stay in the Pitts or move on to bigger and better. Anyway, back to the meaning of life. I used to think that it was always money, power and only looking out for myself. I’m finding more and more that it is the little things that make life worth living. I have come to a few conclusions about things and the way I want my life to go from here on and I’m going to make damn certain I don’t fuck things up again. There are certain defining moments in life and I’ve only had enough to fill up one hand, but they are important ones. My son being born, meeting Justin, falling in love with Justin, loosing Justin and getting him back again. So, the only things that have shaped me to start being a better man are Gus and Justin. If I were truthful to myself I would have admitted that a very long time ago, but I’m so fucking stubborn that I would rather loose someone than admit my true feelings. The fucking kicker about me being able to say that so freely is that I haven’t told him yet. How stupid can I be? Well, I’m getting to how stupid I can really be. 

Okay, so maybe I am a pussy, I am afraid if I tell him he is going to have some power over me, but there again he already does and just doesn’t realize how much power he actually has. I’ve decided that when he comes home to I’m going to tell him how I feel. I know that he feels it, but I want to be the man that he wants me to be. I’m not promising to be monogamous by any means, but he is always going to come first and never again in our home. I do have an ulterior motive to the touchy feely shit that is going to go on. I’m hoping that he will just move his stuff back in and be with me for the rest of his life. I don’t think that is asking too much. The only problem that I can see is that he is going to want one of those ceremonies, oh for fucks sake, what am I getting myself into? Besides that that means I would have to monogamous, oh shit! I don’t think I’ve thought this through all of the way. Wait, yes I have. The meaning of life is doing exactly what you want to do and fuck anyone who tries to stand in your way, even yourself. So, it will hopefully go something like this: Justin you are moving in and we are getting married. That won’t fucking work, son of a bitch! I have to be nicer otherwise he’ll just tell me to fuck off. Okay, lets see… Justin, I’ve loved you for a long time, but was always to chicken shit to say it. No that’s not good either. I think we can all see why I don’t do this shit. Maybe I should just write it… not a chance in hell. That is way to muncher for me. Maybe…

“What are you doing Brian?” Time is fucking up! Oh hell, what the fuck am I suppose to do?

“Hi Sunshine!” He thinks I’m strung out.

“What did you take Brian?” See I told you

“I haven’t taken anything at all, thank you for your concern.” Maybe I should have  
“Okay, so what are we doing tonight?” Hopefully moving you in.

“I… uh…”

“It’s not rocket science Bri.”

“Ummm… Sunshine, can we talk?” I’m so pathetic

“About what?”

“ A lot of things”

“You are scaring me a little, are you trying to break up with me?” What the fuck?

“Far from it, just the opposite in fact.” I give a little laugh at the expression on his face.

“Still scaring me here.”

“Just sit down and I’ll be right back.” I go and get the little present I got for him right after he came back and have been trying to find a way to give it to him. I wonder if it is normal to feel like your heart is going to fly out of your chest because it is beating about 10 times to fast.

“Brian?” I walk back in to him sitting on our less than gorgeous couch and have to smile because he makes it look beautiful. 

“Okay, just listen and then all I want are yes or no answers, okay?”

“Yes.”

“First things first, I’m so glad that I have you and can’t believe that I’m as happy as I am and it is all because of you. Second, I would like for you to move back in here and help me make this our home. Third, I… Iloveyou and last, willyoumarryme?” Why is he crying? Oh Shit, maybe I fucked up big time.

“My turn… ditto for the first part by the way. Yes, to the second part and as for the last two parts… for any response to those I would need you to speak slowly and enunciate.”  
What a little shit, this is why I love him. I can do this.

“I… LOVE… YOU, twat and WILL… YOU… MARRY… ME? Good enough?”

“I love you too! And the last one still needs a little work.” He is actually trying to make me grovel for this… oh well if he ever told anyone I would deny it and nobody would believe. So I get down on one knee in from of him and retrieve my little black box, extend my right hand with box in tow. I look into his eyes that I’ve loved for ever it seems.  
“Justin Taylor, will you do me the honor of marrying me and putting up with my bullshit for the rest of your life?”

“That will definitely do, God if all the queers on Liberty Ave could see this, they would shit. If I said yes would this mean no more tricks in our home?”

“No…” I see his face cloud over and he starts to get up and I grab his arm because he has to know, I have to promise him this.

“Never again, anytime.” Here come the fucking water works again. God help me, what have I done.

“If that is the case, then yes to everything, yes to forever.” I grab him and kiss him like I could loose myself in him, which I did a long time ago. I slip the simple platinum band on his finger and pick my new fiancé up and drag him to the bedroom.

This is last thing that I ever expected myself to do, but this is the result of having too much time on your hands. You start to wonder and ponder, but in the end it all works out because I couldn’t fucking live without Justin by my side wherever our crazy lives take us. The funniest part about all of this is, Mikey is going to fucking fall over dead when he finds out about this and I’ll let my soon to be husband have the joy of telling him.


End file.
